Game of Thrones – Wellington’s Golden Crown

One of our readers, Notorious DLB, sent this amusing post in yesterday. For all the Game of Thrones fans out there, this is for you.

As anyone who has read the books or watched the TV series will know, Game of Thrones is an epic story played out in a fantasy world where political intrigue, familial loyalty and the hunger for power make for a thrilling read/watch as the characters plot, scheme, make love (lots) and betray each other over a complicated five way scramble to claim the throne and rule Westeros.

Exactly like the elections here in Wellington this year. Okay, maybe not exactly. Or even remotely.

However, the iron throne of Westeros Wellington is in fact up for grabs. The incumbent (Celia Wade-Brown) is using her every resource and questionable (?) cunning to cling to power while the “Grey Wolf” of the north (slash Onslow-Western’s John Morrison) is making his claim heard throughout the Kingdom.

And of course, like the Game of Thrones, the battle for Wellington’s Mayoralty is not being contested by just two combatants, there are a number of claims to the throne which need to be considered before deciding. Nicola Young, Jack Yan, Rob Goulden and Karunanidhi Muthu are also contesting the Mayoralty.

I’ve always felt it revealed something of a candidate when they are forced to answer a question of the “who would you vote for if you couldn’t vote for yourself?” variety.

For example, where are the hidden alliances? Who does the candidate fancy modelling themselves after? What does it reveal about their likely policies if they were to be voted in? Which candidate will welcome me to his/her keep, give me bread and salt and then put a crossbow bolt or three into me?

So I set out in order to find the answer to these questions by asking one simple question of the Mayoral candidates: If the next Mayor of Wellington had to be from the Game of Thrones, who would you vote for?

Let’s discuss the results of my hard hitting investigative journalism.

Nicola Young

Responded via Twitter that she rarely watches TV and that “reading is more relevant for WCC”. So as you can see right off the bat, we’re in trouble.

First, Game of Thrones was a series of books long before it became a hit television show.

Secondly, the most satisfying part of having actually read the books is seeing the reactions of people who haven’t see the show, like with the Red Wedding episode and the subsequent “OH EM GEE!!!!!!!” status updates. I kinda felt like this guy.

But I digress. Nicola hasn’t seen the show or read the books so I took the liberty of assigning her a “candidate”.

Her campaign slogan is “Think Young, Vote Young” and so I figure Renly Baratheon, the younger brother of the rightful (?) King of Westeros is a good match. I selected Renly not only because of the “young/younger” connection, but also because while Nicola hasn’t read the books, Renly also didn’t read the bit about how if you try and usurp your older brother’s rightful claim to the throne, he’ll send a ghost baby to kill you.

Reading is important kids. Stay in school.

John Morrison

Showed a good grasp of the political landscape in Westeros, responding via Twitter saying that given Ned Stark was dead, he would be throwing his support behind Daenerys Targaryen, “as she showed fair and strong leadership in the last series”.

Solid choice here John.

Daenerys has overcome many challenges in her rise to power and has shown extra-ordinary resilience and leadership. However, she also has a streak of ruthlessness and there is certainly a hint of pining for the good old days when her and Khal Drogo were the biz.

So yeah, good choice John, but I wouldn’t go fitting yourself out for one of her nice frocks just yet and maybe don’t change your campaign tagline to “Queen of Dragons”. Ever.

Jack Yan

Picked “Ned”. That’s it, just Ned. A little sparse on details and Jack didn’t elaborate beyond “Assume you mean the novels?” which I take to mean he has actually read them – bonus points there Jack.

I also assume Jack also knows that Lord Stark died on like page 4? Or somewhere thereabouts.

But still, on the face of it who wouldn’t want Lord Eddard Stark ruling Wellington? He epitomises firm but fair, he makes the tough calls and chooses not to delegate the passing of his judgement upon others.

I could see him and Lady Stark strolling down Lambton Quay arm in arm. Maybe Ned is awkwardly hanging outside Glassons or Sussans waiting for Lady Stark before moving on down to Sir Breadwins for a beef sandwich with dijon mustard on long Vogels – no margarine please (yes, salt and pepper thanks).

However, we all know what happened in King’s Landing – Ned couldn’t keep up in the quick cut and thrust of politics in the capital and ended up tragically losing his head. So Jack, I like your choice, but I’d decline any “morning tea in Civic Square” invitations from Celia Wade-Brown in the near future.

Celia Wade-Brown, Rob Goulden and Karunanidhi Muthu all elected not to reply to my insightful and hard hitting journalistic question, which only leaves me with one option, and that is, I get to choose on their behalf.

Celia Wade-Brown

She’s really missing an opportunity here. Apart from not answering my question, she also didn’t reply to my question asking what Wellington needs to do to become more relevant to central government.

Personally, I was looking forward the most to CWB’s answer, particularly as she is the incumbent! Would she compare herself to Joffrey, the current (if you’re watching TV) ruthless, brutal ruler of the Seven Kingdoms? Would she opt for Daenarys, a paragon of feminine strength and a liberator of the oppressed (tapping into her left-wing “class war” roots?), or would she go for someone a little bit out of left field? Stannis Baratheon? The legitimate and lawful ruler, fighting for his rightful place on the throne perhaps?

So many choices!

So with her choice graciously delegated to me, I choose for her Theon Greyjoy. If you read the books, Theon was actually a lot more torn between his loyalty to young Rob Stark and his desire to rekindle his relationship with his father than the TV series portrayed.

Much in the same way CWB wants to vote for a fly-over bypass, but is actually really scared that if she does, Russell Norman and Metiria Turei are likely to come over and “bless” her in Wellington harbour much the same way they “bless” the inhabitants of the Iron islands. That is to say, perform a ritual drowning.

Rob Goulden

He gets Hot Pie. Yes, the wannabe bully-turned acquaintance of Arya Stark who just wants to make bread and buns and scones for everyone.

I briefly thought about Jaqen H’ghar aka the assassin that changes faces as fast as Rob Goulden changes online identities – but Jaqen is also quite nice. Whereas when Rob Goulden refereed me in a rugby match once and penalised me for a high tackle which I believe was CLEARLY around the shoulders. So yeah, who’s laughing now Rob?

Karunanidhi Muthu

He may actually already be a character in Game of Thrones and not a candidate for the mayoralty as many of us suspect.

I imagine him to be a Prince from the Summer Isles or a rich merchant from Braavos.

In fact, I love the idea of Karunanidhi turning up to a “Meet the Candidates” forum wearing a silk scarf, jaunty hat and brandishing a sabre so much, that Karunanidhi is the only candidate for Mayor that isn’t a character from GoT that I will personally endorse. As long as he wears a silk scarf, jaunty hat and refers to himself as the “Dancing Master”.

Clearly I know nothing about Karunanidhi – but I hope he enjoys his jaunty hat.

There you have it.

No winners and losers and if you’ve read the books, you’ll know that none of the characters in Game of Thrones are perfect. In fact, some of the bad guys are actually good guys, and some of the good guys are actually bad guys.

So I’d be keen to hear from you which Game of Thrones character should be Mayor of Wellington and why, post below.

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3 responses to “Game of Thrones – Wellington’s Golden Crown

  1. Stannis Baratheon, rightful heir of King Robert, is obviously the better choice for the mayoralty. We need a leader with a firm sense of right and wrong and with the courage to take on existential threats to the realm, no matter how politically unpopular they may be (i.e. the White Walkers). With Davos Seaworth as his deputy, of course!

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